YoUrs or MiNe?

man and woman arguing

man and woman arguing 2

First of all I would like to start with an apology to all those that are going to spent at least 5 to 10 minutes of their lives reading this article. This is because I am addressing an issue which I think in all honesty is a non–issue. So why am I writing about it.  Again, someone asked me to. I would also like to get your thoughts on this issue or non-issue depending on your opinion.

Now to the issue.

IF A WOMAN ALREADY HAS A HOUSE BEFORE GETTING MARRIED, WHERE SHOULD THEY LIVE? Should my husband move in with me or should I rent/sell my flat and move into his own place i.e a place he has rented?

My answer – If you are both insane by all means rent out your flat and move.

According to the person posing the question “men have their ego and all”. So this move is based purely on the guy’s pride. Him not wanting to live in a woman’s house.

I really don’t know where to start because this has left me in danger of having a RANT.

I mean really, with the average price of a one bed flat in London at £82,000, you should be happy she had the good sense to get on the property market when she did.  According to my peeps “shoe get size”. If you saw that she was too big for you why did you go there?

Honestly should a woman now get penalized because she is successful? This idea that your life has to stop mid–way or Post-University until you find a man is really putting unnecessary pressure on sisters. Women marriage does not define who you are. Full stop.  If a man has low self-esteem please stay clear because where do draw the line.

  • Do you resign from your higher paid job because you out earn him?
  • Swap for CRV for a clio
  • Swap your Gucci for Primark.

Note I am not saying stick to shopping high-end,   I am saying if you have it already then why can’t you share it why must you give it up just to be with him.

In this era when you both share the bills and responsibilities in the house. What is the wisdom in renting out your house just to go and rent from someone else?  (NOTE; I am not talking about moving because of location constrains or mortgage repayment constrains no just ego constrains). Won’t you still contribute to the house when you move? Why doesn’t he just take over the mortgage instead? Or contribute to it.

Please sisters’ marriage is forever so be careful about the compromise you make just because you want to get into it. When the wedding dress is removed, the bridesmaids are gone and ever after begins, think about this can I live with this forever?

Besides marriage is a joint venture why is there really an issue it’s our house.


8 thoughts on “YoUrs or MiNe?

  1. Well that’s to say that mordern marriages r not s mordern after all. Cos if I was staying at home n he went to work then that was in those days but now we both work and contribute to d bills.. But He cnt move into mine?? Why?? Means its not so mordern after all….

  2. I agree with you, this should not be an issue!Considering how much people have to put down for deposit and the cost of property, seriously! Man be thankful!! :))
    A woman’s success should not be the cause of shame for a man! I actually think the thought of being with a successful woman should boost a man’s ego and his drive to achieve better in life!
    It is so annoying when I hear what ladies give up to be with silly man!! Arg@!@**#!!!!

  3. i also agree with you as well, very much so, based on my research on acquiring a property this days. i see no reason why a man should have any problem moving in with his married wife if she has the property and is up to date with paying her mortgage. why rent else where. it really does not make sense. moving in with the wife will not only help in paying off the mortgage but can also help in buying other properties if need be. at least it is a wonderful start i believe.

    i personally think that any man that is against a woman success is very insecure and having a very very very low self esteem. but then do we blame the man? is what i ask my self sometimes. it could be from maybe past experience and even family problems. i don’t know but it is a question that requires an objective answer.

  4. But marriage goes in waves. You’ve got to be patient. People bail and give up on their marriages way too early. They just don’t put the work and the effort into it. You’ve got to suck up your ego a lot of times, because that can be a big downfall.
    – Anna Benson

    Don’t let your ego get too close to your position, so that if your position gets shot down, your ego doesn’t go with it.

    A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there’s my personal favorite, the male ego.
    -Roseanne Barr

    I can see that the previous comments were all made by ladies. Your conclusion is: Its all ego business if a man decides that renting a house is better than moving into the wife’s mortgaged house.

    However, it would be a little bit premature to come to the above conclusion without considering other factors which lead to breakdown in marriage…e.g. sex, money, unreasonable behaviour. In an age where the percentage of divorce is rising daily, one is forced to reason with the man if he decides that renting a home for the family is rather ideal.

    While having a recent discussion with my boss and colleague about this subject…they found it hard to give a definite answer. They kept saying “Its a Difficult one to call” but then “it shouldn’t be a problem”.

    A man must leave is parents and cling to the woman and then become one. The question is, if you indeed became one on saying I do, where is the ego coming from.

    We need to understand that during courtship and before marriage…there are things you assured yourself you could compromise and live with. But I tell you from the way our subconscious mind work, that those thoughts does crop up to you once a while. A man with his pride, a woman with her mouth, a man with his infidelity, a woman with her impulse spending ….these are things you told yourself you could live with.

    In my opinion, if the lady had a mortgaged house before marriage, the husband should move in with her….This is by no standard morally wrong….It is common sense. However, my advise would be that a less tense discussion be had on the goals for the future in the Home….should there be a change of name of the property? Does it really matter? Well if you married a proud wife, then you’re in for some talks cos the lady would give you some history on the sums she’s paid on the mortgage should a an argument arise.

    Its quite easy to say “It shouldn’t be a problem” but what if it became a problem.

    • @ Bayo its great to have a mans point of view.. Makes sence what if it becomes a problem later on… With the rate of divorce climbling every day and the church is not even left out.. Well I think somethings are better discussed b4 marriage and this is one of them.. It needs to be discussed in details so that a compromise can be reached b4 the lines r signed but alas a lot of people r in a hurry that they wait to v the discussion after signing the lines…

      • Well thats what happen when things are over-spiritualized and not faced squarely. There is always a risk of one’s motive being questioned if certain topics are dare discussed. The world is a changing place….Prior to this jet age…no one cared about their partners Genotype or HIV status….now its a must….nuf said jor

  5. this is very simple ,why move or rent let the guy pay you with intrest of what you paid for the house and you guys live there.gbam#

    • Lol@ sexy by faith.. The truth is that its not as easy as we say.. But I think couples expecially children of God in this kinda situation shld talk abt this at lenght n reach a place where they r both comfy with d outcome n then go ahead.. With the rate of divorce increasing n d church not been left out.. I think Christians shld go back to the bible n search n follow what God says it ll avoid future unforseen challenges..

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