Paycheck Envy Amongst Friends

Envy

I read this article in The Daily Mail last week about 5 friends who are on different ends of the salary spectrum (£21,000 to £60,000) and how it affected their friendship. It had me in stitches. Two of my friends sent me the link in the space of 5 minutes so I guess we where all thinking the same thing when we read the article.

I have a close-knit of about 11 friends who are all in very different stages of their lives, single, married, married with kids, engaged, living at home with parents, flat sharing, working full-time, temping etc. The dynamics makes planning a meet up a logistical nightmare. I remember trying to organize a christmas party, 102 emails later we where not any closer to agreeing on a venue or how much to spend on gifts. The last group activity; a trip to the spa took 4 months to plan. We started off we 10 people confirming. 400 email and countless Whats App messages later we where down to 3. Despite that, we had a blast at the spa and ended up spending 4 hours plus in Nandos chatting away; catching up. It’s these moments that make up for a the countless hours invested in emails, What’s App messages and logistics.

The beauty of life is in sharing. Having friends and family to share life with makes it more rewarding. No matter the size of your paycheck there is no fun in buying a pair of shoe you can only wear around the house or go to work in (all dressed up and no one to show mode). Definitely, friends can be annoying and sometimes one gets a pang of envy when someone gets something you have been praying for. However, they are all unique and each bring something special to the table. I always say this prayer in Joel 2; 1, 7-8  for my friends (the bible talks about Gods people marching on and non breaking their ranks). I pray that we all progress with speed, so that when we finally get around to organizing that luxury holiday to Thailand non shall be left behind *winks*

Advertisements

14 thoughts on “Paycheck Envy Amongst Friends

  1. Nice piece Mira. Its a pity the rigours of work and family have left me with no close friends and many colleagues scattered all over the country.
    Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

    • Funny enough in Nija when a had more free time I didn’t have friends but here that I am so busy. I guess the common denominator is choir n Church. since we see most weekends at these places it has helped the friendship to grow.

  2. Lol. Trip to where? Lol. I have not seen this case (envy) amongst my friends yet. Reason been that well I guess we don’t know what each other earns. Have seen envy in other areas but salary. Maybe I never thought of it.

    • Its not really a malicious kind of envy. More like a longing for something. You are happy for them but you wish you could have some of what they have. Like DH & I where praying for some friends of his to get a new job and they got it. We were also praying for him (DH) to get a particular job but he didn’t. We where happy our prayers had been answered but for a micro second I was like God you should have done it for all of us na are we not all children (DH said he didn’t feel like this at all).

  3. Out of the heart the mouth speaketh and from that proceeds attitudes and reaction maybe then gives birth to envy or happiness for each other. I will say that I am one of those that maybe thinks of the best for people than the other way round. If you like ignorance about some heart of man
    I guess that is why this blog draws my attention.

  4. lol.I was one of the people that sent the post to Mira. knew it will make an interesting blog posts*wink* i am priviledged to have a blessed family and lovely friends.I caught up recently with a Uni friend of mine.when she told me how much she made plus bonuses,my jaw almost touched the floor.I was very happy for her.I knew all the sacrifices she put in,diff temp jobs,working
    long hours,going in at weekend but it did pay off.
    I am thankful because I can’t complain with how far God has blessed us and very soon that 5 star trip to Thailand will be a reality.

  5. Envy, am not sure if i envy anyone, cause I believe that if you want something just budget for that particular item, if a friend want you to go out with them, check out the place you are to go, thank God for google and see what you can afford, so it will not be a surprise what the bill will be when you get to the restaurant and if you can afford it so be it and if you can’t, tell your friend.

    No point in pleasing if you know you will be out of pocket, at the end you will
    be the one to suffer of it.

    according Lucy Stevens (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2296041/How-feels-best-friends-earn—Its-topic-women-shy-away-Here-break-taboo-So-friendships-survive.html),she knows how much she earned and also what she can afford which is not the same with Joanna and Vesna who don’t really think about spending or maybe has secretly budgeted for it humm , due to that Lucy Stevens is very careful (she is my type of woman, no matter how much you earn BUDGET)

    Salary, I know people with children who earned half of my salary and some not even half and live a stress free life, do I envy them No but I question them about what the secret is. A very good friend of mine told me, whatever you want to do in life someone else “has done that before” rather that fighting yourself and headbutting yourself why not just get the knowledge from the person who has done it before.

    • Wise words. However, sometimes its not just a question of budgeting some people really dont have. The salary is just enough to cover the essential of rent, feeding and power. So we thank God that we can afford luxury’s. In theory is Good to say you can always get more knowledge but there are some people that practically cant due to circumstances in their lives and sometimes they might not even share with any one appearances can be deceiving and we would start to judge them based on what we see outwards but we dont really know what is going on inside. I have learnt never to judge anyone until you walk in their shoes.

      • Mira I totally agree with you. I have friends who are in better paid jobs than me (who are even much younger than I am), and have things that I have prayed hard and long for but I always thanked God for what they have and believe, that God that did it for them can surely do it for me.
        Lara like you rightly said there is nothing that hasnt been done for before. I believe that whatever you want in life comes with a price and you have to be willing to sacrifice thngs in order to get there. I would love to go on expensive holidays and go on shoppings sprees without thinking twice about it. But for now im constantly on money saving sites; looking for dicount codes and making sacrifices in order buiding my career in order to have a fullied life. I know one day we will surely be able to go on luxorious holidays without having to think twice or even be treat our friends to weekends away to beautiful castles 🙂
        However, the key is to be thankful for your current state now and dont try to please people at your expense.

  6. I won’t call it good envy, but mira I understand what you mean. Maybe it’s called wishes. For that split second you wish you could have that desire its not hurtful and it doesn’t make you ungrateful but there is hardly anyone who would rightly say dey haven’t seen something on someone (not necessarily physical) that we haven’t wished even for a second that it was for us.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s