Wedding Fever

I have a serious case of wedding fever. I have 4 weddings to attend over 2 months. All the weddings are of very close friends. I am getting excited over clothes, shoes , colours etc. and my bank balance is suffering but ladies you are worth it :-).

Anyways, this is my light-hearted 2 cents to my friends. If you want something more heavy you can read the OMG they are getting married series.. So here we go

1- Be happy

Don’t let the little things steal your joy. You are tidy – he is messy, so what? as long as you are together just enjoy it.
Dont let stupid things break your happiness

2- Have fun

Guard the fun in your relationship. Have a relationship where you can act like complete idiots together without being ashamed. Do not forget what you had before you got married. Do not let it get boring.
lets crawl under a big blanket and watch movies

3- Enjoy the change

Yes things have changed – you can’t hog the TV any more, you have someone snoring in your ears, you haven’t spoken to your friends in ages (including me). Keep calm and enjoy the change. That is life for you.
Things Change. And friends leave. and live doesn't stop for anyone

4- Be fulfilled

You wanted this, now you have it so shut up and be fulfilled.
choose to be fulfilled

5- Be complete
I cant say this enough. Let your spouse complete you – let them be enough for you. Don’t compare. Don’t waiver in your belief in them. Completely accept them. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to change bad behaviour. Love all aspects of them. It’s all those dynamics that makes them who they are.

two can be complete without the rest of the world

Love ya XOXO

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Paycheck Envy Amongst Friends

Envy

I read this article in The Daily Mail last week about 5 friends who are on different ends of the salary spectrum (£21,000 to £60,000) and how it affected their friendship. It had me in stitches. Two of my friends sent me the link in the space of 5 minutes so I guess we where all thinking the same thing when we read the article.

I have a close-knit of about 11 friends who are all in very different stages of their lives, single, married, married with kids, engaged, living at home with parents, flat sharing, working full-time, temping etc. The dynamics makes planning a meet up a logistical nightmare. I remember trying to organize a christmas party, 102 emails later we where not any closer to agreeing on a venue or how much to spend on gifts. The last group activity; a trip to the spa took 4 months to plan. We started off we 10 people confirming. 400 email and countless Whats App messages later we where down to 3. Despite that, we had a blast at the spa and ended up spending 4 hours plus in Nandos chatting away; catching up. It’s these moments that make up for a the countless hours invested in emails, What’s App messages and logistics.

The beauty of life is in sharing. Having friends and family to share life with makes it more rewarding. No matter the size of your paycheck there is no fun in buying a pair of shoe you can only wear around the house or go to work in (all dressed up and no one to show mode). Definitely, friends can be annoying and sometimes one gets a pang of envy when someone gets something you have been praying for. However, they are all unique and each bring something special to the table. I always say this prayer in Joel 2; 1, 7-8  for my friends (the bible talks about Gods people marching on and non breaking their ranks). I pray that we all progress with speed, so that when we finally get around to organizing that luxury holiday to Thailand non shall be left behind *winks*

YoUrs or MiNe?

man and woman arguing

man and woman arguing 2

First of all I would like to start with an apology to all those that are going to spent at least 5 to 10 minutes of their lives reading this article. This is because I am addressing an issue which I think in all honesty is a non–issue. So why am I writing about it.  Again, someone asked me to. I would also like to get your thoughts on this issue or non-issue depending on your opinion.

Now to the issue.

IF A WOMAN ALREADY HAS A HOUSE BEFORE GETTING MARRIED, WHERE SHOULD THEY LIVE? Should my husband move in with me or should I rent/sell my flat and move into his own place i.e a place he has rented?

My answer – If you are both insane by all means rent out your flat and move.

According to the person posing the question “men have their ego and all”. So this move is based purely on the guy’s pride. Him not wanting to live in a woman’s house.

I really don’t know where to start because this has left me in danger of having a RANT.

I mean really, with the average price of a one bed flat in London at £82,000, you should be happy she had the good sense to get on the property market when she did.  According to my peeps “shoe get size”. If you saw that she was too big for you why did you go there?

Honestly should a woman now get penalized because she is successful? This idea that your life has to stop mid–way or Post-University until you find a man is really putting unnecessary pressure on sisters. Women marriage does not define who you are. Full stop.  If a man has low self-esteem please stay clear because where do draw the line.

  • Do you resign from your higher paid job because you out earn him?
  • Swap for CRV for a clio
  • Swap your Gucci for Primark.

Note I am not saying stick to shopping high-end,   I am saying if you have it already then why can’t you share it why must you give it up just to be with him.

In this era when you both share the bills and responsibilities in the house. What is the wisdom in renting out your house just to go and rent from someone else?  (NOTE; I am not talking about moving because of location constrains or mortgage repayment constrains no just ego constrains). Won’t you still contribute to the house when you move? Why doesn’t he just take over the mortgage instead? Or contribute to it.

Please sisters’ marriage is forever so be careful about the compromise you make just because you want to get into it. When the wedding dress is removed, the bridesmaids are gone and ever after begins, think about this can I live with this forever?

Besides marriage is a joint venture why is there really an issue it’s our house.

WHAT WOMEN WANT: Evolution, Genes or Multitasking?

woman multitasking
“I really don’t understand her mate. I have given her all she wants and she isn’t still satisfied,” said the blind man to his even blinder friend  “Yea that the thing about birds there is no understanding them they just love to nag” That age-long question men have been asking since the stone age what do women want?  According to researchers the reason why men and women behave differently is that they evolved differently. In the ancient past, achieving high status as a great hunter and provider for the group got a man the best of what was available in the group, so they got very competitive and focused towards that goal, while the women stayed at home cultivating relationships, friendships and taking care of the men becoming the nurturers’  Is the truth really that we are still using a body and brain design that is approximately 30,000 years old! If this indeed true, I need some answers from Charles Darwin •

Why is it that women have evolved to the work place and become as competitive and driven as men while still remaining in most part nurturers (even thought some would rather die before they admit it)?

Why have men stopped evolving (especially the black African men)?

Why can’t men combine provide, protect and care. If they are indeed so wise, strong and competitive  (we being the weaker sex)

How come they cannot successfully combine  what we (women) have now been doing for years? Is it that they are not as strong and wise as they think they are?

Do they not see us as worthy competitors to join in the race to do what we do better or is it their inability to multitask that has made them fall  stunted in the evolution race. Would it not be nice if  he could anticipate your needs the way you always seem to be able to do his (you know we are not into magic we just care about you that’s why we have taken an interest in what you do and what you wear, eat, etc.)  If anyone can answer my evolution questions I would really love to hear from you.
(this is an old post I just revamped)